I know during this time of grief, nothing really said can take away the pain inside but it made me look at my life and my many blessings; I have a home, my kids are healthy, a great husband, and I had both my mother and my mother-law to celebrate with yesterday. While I was enjoying my day, taking full advantage of my blessings and my husband’s willingness to make me happy all day, other people were reminded of their sorrows.
I purposefully changed our original plan of Mother’s Day because after 2 friends lost their mothers recently, I couldn’t imagine not spending our day with the mothers we both have here physically. Just the thought of not having them in the physical world makes my eyes water, so I knew we had to spend our day together celebrating our blessings.
My education is in counseling and I remember discussing counseling grief. I specifically remember hearing testimonials on how those who are grieving are not consoled by the cliché, “Everything happens for a reason.” Or “They are in a better place now.” In fact, it has made them worse. As someone who has not lost someone very close, I can understand that people may not know what to say or do. We want to help but want to respect their privacy. We want to say something that will magically take away their pain but we stumble over our words. It is difficult knowing what to say and do but, what I have learned is, by reaching out to them and letting them know you are there for them helps. They may not know how to show it, realize it at the time, but it is much better then avoiding them because you are not sure what to say. So today, I ask everyone reading this, reach out to someone today you know that may have had a difficult time yesterday.
Weather it’s because of a mother lost, a child lost, infertility or a day that brings sad emotions, let them know you are thinking of them. Text them, call them, schedule a lunch date, send them a card, or just simply say, “I love you!”
To all our family and friends that have lost someone close, please reach out to a friend. Help them know how they can help you, and if you don't know how or feel alone, reach out to a local group that focuses on assisting those with grief. We all need help in life and it is ok to ask. We all just want to be happy but some days it takes more work then others.
Erica & Angela